Damnit anyway! So here we are being rushed like Hell's doors were being closed any second and we now approach the Ramp across the River Styx, the boundary between Earth and the Underworld by a sprinting Vietnamese! Shit! Now the speaker announces "Will Passengers Howard and Kelly Lute please come to the Boarding Gate NOW! It repeats...Grrrrrr. I look back to see Kelly in the near distance rushing as best she can to catch up and we brake at yet another damned American Airlines person behind a desk that wants our Passports and Boarding Passes once again! Damn them! I hand mine to the AA staffer and say "My wife is coming along." He says "You have hers?" I say "Yes", He says, "I need it NOW", Kelly IS closer but is not there YET. Then he want the Boarding Passes which he checks against a passenger list he has. The Vietnamese Racer is anxiously shifting his weight from one leg to the other anxious to leave the starting block for the final push to Hell awaiting. He hands back the Passports and the Boarding passes and the Vietnamese takes off through the gate and turns right as I yell "STOP!!!" "I HAVE her papers!" I yell out loud enough for Row 41 to hear aboard the Airplane to Hell in the distance. I handed her passport and boarding pass to my race driver...Grrrrrrr and he handed them, in turn, through the AA gate to the staffer as Kelly arrived. Oh I think...this won't be pretty! Not pretty at all! Kelly, nearly in tears, exhausted and mad as hell, out of breath and coughing vigorously as her asthma is erupting..says "I'm a 67 year old woman, why am I having to RUN to keep up with my husband? Are you people CRAZY!!" and the staffer says in the flattest tone of voice I've heard in a long, long time "Madam, what would you have me do?" I thought she was going to Kill him with her bare hands right there and then! She chewed and chewed on him for the next short while until exhausted and completely deflated she accepted his insincere apologies and joined us for the final sprint to the aircraft doors 100 feet away. Now the fun REALLY began! Up the aisle we jostled, past the 1st Class cabin and it's screaming 2 year olds (twins!), through business class with bags and laptop cords tangling from the open baggage overhead doors and into the cave that was this planes Coach Class to join the madding crowds trying to find spaces for all the carry-on luggage a plane could hold. Carry ons packed into what space was available amidst worrying stares from those with STUFF jammed into the same baggage overhead we shoved Furry's carrier under the seat ahead of me and sat down, fastened our seat belts and stared straight ahead recovering from the last 20 minute ordeal. An older Aircraft this 767 had TV monitors in only the center aisle, so there went any movie watching we had in mind. Then came the Seat Belt demo on the tube, oh god...then again and again...3 separate times it ran til we had finally memorized large parts of the message. The captain then came on to announce we were delayed in departure for some damned reason and our time slipped up to 12:45. We adjusted ourselves and Kelly began reading the in-flight magazine as I read the damned safety glossy on where the damned exits are located. Shit! At 12:50 the captain came on once again to say that once again we had been delayed and would be getting underway ...soon. We continued reading and Kelly fetched her Kindle from the carry on and sat down to read. 1:15pm came and went, the plane remained at the gate, People shuffled, babies cried, the lights went out then came back on again...the young girl in the center aisle started hitting the Call button for the Steward, whop gamely came to the row and said "I've been here three times already, would you please STOP pushing the call button please?!" She stopped. Then "Ding" she began again, "Ding", "Ding", her mother continued reading. The Steward showed up and just stood there staring at her..."Ding","Ding", "Ding". A rather stern looking Flight Attendant approached us and bending over Kelly asked "Where's the Cat?!" in an abrupt and sharp manner. I pointed under the seat in front of me, "My Service Animal is there." I said looking back at her as I did. She stood up and strode off looking back as she went and said "Why did you bring a Cat onboard?!" ...I replied, almost yelling "She's NOT a CAT...she's a Service Animal Madam!" This was JUST the beginning...
Monday, September 17, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
The Return
Chapter One: I've Seen The Devil And It Isn't Barack H. Obama.
Charles De Gualle Airport, Paris, France. Time: 0920 Hrs 5 September, 2012.
Weather: Hazy and Warm.
Our arrival was by slow Taxi, a fine newish Audi automobile driven at a leisurely pace got us to the airport in 45 minutes through typical Paris traffic. We spoke few words to the driver, instead spent our time gawking at the passing scenery of the Paris Ring Road. Being mostly graffiti of unknown age, it was colorful and omnipresent. We arrived at 9:20 am at Terminal 2 where we were to board an American Airlines flight 0044 to Chicago on the way to San Francisco. Bags unloaded, driver paid, we pushed our luggage mounted on a 4 wheeled cart into the cavernous grey space. Before us was a bevy of French Army soldiers with the requisite pistols and machine guns that we've come to expect at Paris train stations but having seldom seen them at an air terminal were were made a bit curious. We initially turned right and pushed our way through the madding crowd to where we had remembered the American Airlines desks to be. Alas, we were struck to see Oman Airlines lines guarded by yet more French soldiers. Turning about, we retraced our steps back around the perimeter of good ol' CDG to see the American Airlines desk and hall before us in about 100 yards. Terrific.
The line drifted back and forth towards the desks, 4 employees of AA (American Airlines) staffed the pulpits. When asked, a nicely uniformed staffer told us that this was the line for Chicago...and pointed towards a wall some short distance away. We pushed the cart forward to see the line stretch away as far as the eye could see along the perimeter of the hallway, held in place by yards upon yards of American Airlines stanchions and webbing. We joined the minions and soon were shuffling slowly towards the check-in desks along with several hundred like minded souls. The plane was scheduled to depart CDG at 12:15 pm and we had now 2Hrs and 45 minutes to traverse check-in, security, and finally at the gangway to seats 31 E and F on the 767. 10 am came and went and we had just managed to get to the corner where the long line ahead was clearly visible. Time went by painfully slow as we shuffled our way down the hallway for the next 2 hours! We finally made it to the check-in counter to obtain our boarding passes at 12:16...the time the aircraft had been scheduled to depart CDG. At the counter is was the usual confusion when I announced "we have a service animal" to the kindly woman as she asked for our Passports and Furry's EU Pet Passport. "What is IT?" she asked sharply as I pointed to the bag that housed Furr-Rr-Eee. "Oh..." she said, voice trailing off, then, yelling to the AA employee next door said "They've got a Cat!", I replied "Not a Cat, a Service Animal" somewhat loudly. "Did you request a wheelchair?" she asked. "Yes" and then she handed me the Boarding Passes and said"Go sit over there, waving her hands toward the far off wall through the crowd. We pushed ahead, stumbled around the crowded walkway and found but 3 chairs where she had pointed, all filled with impatient AA passengers-to-be. We stood and eyed each other hopefully, my hip was hurting and Kelly was tired of the whole scene, afterall we had been in line and THERE at CDG for over three hours. Now we waited for the wheelchair for me. Kelly asked "Should I go ahead and get to the airplane?" I looked at her and said, "No, let's just wait." Shortly a chair openned up and I took it, a minute later the rest of the group rose and left us, Kelly sat down. A bare minute later the wheelchair and it's pusherman appeared anxiously and hurridly got me into and straped to the chair. We took off for the plane in a rush, he began to run saying "We're late, we're late!" I looked around and couldn't see Kelly who was some distance behind by now and I said to my guide "Please, slow down so she can catch up!" He pulled aside and we waited about 30 seconds til she appeared behind us about 50 feet through the crowd, then he was off again at breakneck speed!
----
I'll publish this right now and continue it later...it's quite a story.
Charles De Gualle Airport, Paris, France. Time: 0920 Hrs 5 September, 2012.
Weather: Hazy and Warm.
Our arrival was by slow Taxi, a fine newish Audi automobile driven at a leisurely pace got us to the airport in 45 minutes through typical Paris traffic. We spoke few words to the driver, instead spent our time gawking at the passing scenery of the Paris Ring Road. Being mostly graffiti of unknown age, it was colorful and omnipresent. We arrived at 9:20 am at Terminal 2 where we were to board an American Airlines flight 0044 to Chicago on the way to San Francisco. Bags unloaded, driver paid, we pushed our luggage mounted on a 4 wheeled cart into the cavernous grey space. Before us was a bevy of French Army soldiers with the requisite pistols and machine guns that we've come to expect at Paris train stations but having seldom seen them at an air terminal were were made a bit curious. We initially turned right and pushed our way through the madding crowd to where we had remembered the American Airlines desks to be. Alas, we were struck to see Oman Airlines lines guarded by yet more French soldiers. Turning about, we retraced our steps back around the perimeter of good ol' CDG to see the American Airlines desk and hall before us in about 100 yards. Terrific.
The line drifted back and forth towards the desks, 4 employees of AA (American Airlines) staffed the pulpits. When asked, a nicely uniformed staffer told us that this was the line for Chicago...and pointed towards a wall some short distance away. We pushed the cart forward to see the line stretch away as far as the eye could see along the perimeter of the hallway, held in place by yards upon yards of American Airlines stanchions and webbing. We joined the minions and soon were shuffling slowly towards the check-in desks along with several hundred like minded souls. The plane was scheduled to depart CDG at 12:15 pm and we had now 2Hrs and 45 minutes to traverse check-in, security, and finally at the gangway to seats 31 E and F on the 767. 10 am came and went and we had just managed to get to the corner where the long line ahead was clearly visible. Time went by painfully slow as we shuffled our way down the hallway for the next 2 hours! We finally made it to the check-in counter to obtain our boarding passes at 12:16...the time the aircraft had been scheduled to depart CDG. At the counter is was the usual confusion when I announced "we have a service animal" to the kindly woman as she asked for our Passports and Furry's EU Pet Passport. "What is IT?" she asked sharply as I pointed to the bag that housed Furr-Rr-Eee. "Oh..." she said, voice trailing off, then, yelling to the AA employee next door said "They've got a Cat!", I replied "Not a Cat, a Service Animal" somewhat loudly. "Did you request a wheelchair?" she asked. "Yes" and then she handed me the Boarding Passes and said"Go sit over there, waving her hands toward the far off wall through the crowd. We pushed ahead, stumbled around the crowded walkway and found but 3 chairs where she had pointed, all filled with impatient AA passengers-to-be. We stood and eyed each other hopefully, my hip was hurting and Kelly was tired of the whole scene, afterall we had been in line and THERE at CDG for over three hours. Now we waited for the wheelchair for me. Kelly asked "Should I go ahead and get to the airplane?" I looked at her and said, "No, let's just wait." Shortly a chair openned up and I took it, a minute later the rest of the group rose and left us, Kelly sat down. A bare minute later the wheelchair and it's pusherman appeared anxiously and hurridly got me into and straped to the chair. We took off for the plane in a rush, he began to run saying "We're late, we're late!" I looked around and couldn't see Kelly who was some distance behind by now and I said to my guide "Please, slow down so she can catch up!" He pulled aside and we waited about 30 seconds til she appeared behind us about 50 feet through the crowd, then he was off again at breakneck speed!
----
I'll publish this right now and continue it later...it's quite a story.
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