Damnit anyway! So here we are being rushed like Hell's doors were being closed any second and we now approach the Ramp across the River Styx, the boundary between Earth and the Underworld by a sprinting Vietnamese! Shit! Now the speaker announces "Will Passengers Howard and Kelly Lute please come to the Boarding Gate NOW! It repeats...Grrrrrr. I look back to see Kelly in the near distance rushing as best she can to catch up and we brake at yet another damned American Airlines person behind a desk that wants our Passports and Boarding Passes once again! Damn them! I hand mine to the AA staffer and say "My wife is coming along." He says "You have hers?" I say "Yes", He says, "I need it NOW", Kelly IS closer but is not there YET. Then he want the Boarding Passes which he checks against a passenger list he has. The Vietnamese Racer is anxiously shifting his weight from one leg to the other anxious to leave the starting block for the final push to Hell awaiting. He hands back the Passports and the Boarding passes and the Vietnamese takes off through the gate and turns right as I yell "STOP!!!" "I HAVE her papers!" I yell out loud enough for Row 41 to hear aboard the Airplane to Hell in the distance. I handed her passport and boarding pass to my race driver...Grrrrrrr and he handed them, in turn, through the AA gate to the staffer as Kelly arrived. Oh I think...this won't be pretty! Not pretty at all! Kelly, nearly in tears, exhausted and mad as hell, out of breath and coughing vigorously as her asthma is erupting..says "I'm a 67 year old woman, why am I having to RUN to keep up with my husband? Are you people CRAZY!!" and the staffer says in the flattest tone of voice I've heard in a long, long time "Madam, what would you have me do?" I thought she was going to Kill him with her bare hands right there and then! She chewed and chewed on him for the next short while until exhausted and completely deflated she accepted his insincere apologies and joined us for the final sprint to the aircraft doors 100 feet away. Now the fun REALLY began! Up the aisle we jostled, past the 1st Class cabin and it's screaming 2 year olds (twins!), through business class with bags and laptop cords tangling from the open baggage overhead doors and into the cave that was this planes Coach Class to join the madding crowds trying to find spaces for all the carry-on luggage a plane could hold. Carry ons packed into what space was available amidst worrying stares from those with STUFF jammed into the same baggage overhead we shoved Furry's carrier under the seat ahead of me and sat down, fastened our seat belts and stared straight ahead recovering from the last 20 minute ordeal. An older Aircraft this 767 had TV monitors in only the center aisle, so there went any movie watching we had in mind. Then came the Seat Belt demo on the tube, oh god...then again and again...3 separate times it ran til we had finally memorized large parts of the message. The captain then came on to announce we were delayed in departure for some damned reason and our time slipped up to 12:45. We adjusted ourselves and Kelly began reading the in-flight magazine as I read the damned safety glossy on where the damned exits are located. Shit! At 12:50 the captain came on once again to say that once again we had been delayed and would be getting underway ...soon. We continued reading and Kelly fetched her Kindle from the carry on and sat down to read. 1:15pm came and went, the plane remained at the gate, People shuffled, babies cried, the lights went out then came back on again...the young girl in the center aisle started hitting the Call button for the Steward, whop gamely came to the row and said "I've been here three times already, would you please STOP pushing the call button please?!" She stopped. Then "Ding" she began again, "Ding", "Ding", her mother continued reading. The Steward showed up and just stood there staring at her..."Ding","Ding", "Ding". A rather stern looking Flight Attendant approached us and bending over Kelly asked "Where's the Cat?!" in an abrupt and sharp manner. I pointed under the seat in front of me, "My Service Animal is there." I said looking back at her as I did. She stood up and strode off looking back as she went and said "Why did you bring a Cat onboard?!" ...I replied, almost yelling "She's NOT a CAT...she's a Service Animal Madam!" This was JUST the beginning...
