Water...Water EVERYWHERE...I didn't do it!

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Water...Water Everywhere...I didn't do it!
Merde! Merde! Merde! (That's shit, shit, shit in French) Off in the morning yesterday to the Swamphouse to do more moving chores and cleaning as we have been doing for the last months. My neighbor Vern had called just before we left our new abode to tell me there was a giant puddle of water in the front of the house. Oh grrrr. So upon arriving at the house sure enough here's a running stream going down the street to the drain at the corner. After entering the house I could hear the roar of a waterfall in the distance. I openned the rear sliding door to find a torrent of the precious stuff crashing against the wall and valves of the automatic watering system. The problem was somewhere IN the exterior wall of the house and the stream was shooting out with much force and noise. Grrrrr. The main turn off valve at the house was right there so I turned and turned it until I finally got it almost off...almost. Not just a drip, drip, drip either...still a running leak. A pair of pliers did little to help. Grrrrr. So I went to the street and found the main water connection and the meter as well as the main valve and was able to shut it off entirely there. Good. So upon further examination I determined this was beyond my ability or interest to fix. It would be good money after bad if I took it on certaiunly, me being, by all measures the worst plumber in the United States if not the World. So off to call Joe The Plumber, whom has done ever so much incredible and inventive plumbing work for us over the years, mostly at the old houses in downtown Suisun but he has been to the Swamphouse upon occassion as well. I trust him, he's highly skilled and is fairly priced too...the best kind of Plumber to know. Hours went by and I finally decided that he was on vacation or ???? knew enough of us to avoid our problems at all cost...but no...he had just missed the message on his message machine. He called a few minutes ago and we set up a time for his examination and subsequent work...tomorrow at 7:30am. I get over there to meet and show him the waterfall then get out of his way.